Hello, everyone! Each week, I am going to highlight a family that has shared their experiences with me. Some women will talk about their experience becoming mothers, their families, or what being a mother means to them. I am actively searching for fathers to share their experiences as well! (If you, or anyone you know, is interested, PLEASE let me know!)
For this first #familyfriday, Lindsey is shared her thoughts on being a busy family, and how they handle public reactions to being a biracial family.
Hi, my name is Lindsey Pitts and I’m a first year Child Development graduate student at California State University, Sacramento. My husband Will and I have two children: Mikaila, age 5, and Preston, age 3.5. Growing up, I would play house all day everyday, and always knew I wanted to be a mom. However, being a mom who works outside the home, while being a student, has been nothing like I ever imagined.
My studies in Child Development have not only helped, but have hindered my parenting skills at times. No matter how much you know about children and their developmental stages, there’s nothing like hands on experience. There is no right way to raise a kid, and once my husband and I accepted that, it made parenting so much easier. Parenting is a fluid topic. No matter what theory or research says, it’s going to come down to you, the parent, to make the decision about what you think is best for your child(ren) and family. Will and I both have a passion for kids. We have both been working in education for nearly 10 years, and are excited about continuing our own educations. Both of our children started full day Pre-K programs at young ages, and we really believe in providing hands on experiences for them in their early development.
Being busy is an understatement when it comes to our family! My husband and I work, recently finished our undergraduate degrees, and are now pursuing Masters degrees in our fields of study. We really couldn’t have done it without each other, or our kids. Teamwork is BIG in our household, whether it’s mealtime, getting out the door, or daily chores, everyone plays a part. One thing we really try and do is spend quality time together. We laugh a lot (at ourselves and each other) and try to make everything a fun experience for our kids (even cleaning!) There were times in our BA programs when we disagreed, and were just so tired and stressed from deadlines and the daily grind of parenting. Taking a step back, and time out to spend time as a family and with each other, was what put everything back in perspective. It reminded us why we were doing what we were doing, and why it was all worth it. Making our family a priority is why I think our kids are so happy- and is also how our relationship survived the last few years.
Something that’s unique about our family is that we are a tall bunch, and we are a biracial couple. My husband is 6’8, I’m 5’10, and our kids look like they are about 3 years older then they really are. Walking through Target, having your child who looks like they are 6 have a meltdown over not getting a toy, isn’t fun. We’ve gotten looks. I usually respond with, “I know being 3 is tough, we can’t always get what we want.” Patrons usually smile after that and comment on how tall and beautiful our kids are. When we aren’t making tantrum scenes, the kids usually get comments and questions about them being models (both have lighter complexion and hair, and Mikaila has blue eyes.) If I got paid for every time someone commented on this- both my kids would have college funds by now. 😉 Living in a very diverse city, we receive lots of positive feedback about being an interracial couple. One thing that has been bothersome, however, is the stereotypes society has placed on couples like us. Some people are just going to “hate” because of their own situation. Luckily, assumptions like these are few and far between, and when people do make comments, we just ignore them. With different cultural backgrounds, we have made it a point to introduce and expose our children to both our cultures and families. My daughter said it best the other day when she told my husband, “even though we have different color skin, we are still family.”