MOM Art Annex: Exhibition & Education Center

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Interview Opportunity/Play About Birth & CFP JourMS

Lillian Isabella

INTERVIEW OPPORTUNITY:

Lillian Isabella is an award-winning documentary theatre maker. She’s looking to interview at least 100 different people with all different kinds of pregnancy and birth stories throughout the Summer of 2020.

If you have been pregnant, are pregnant, or have given birth (of all ages), as well as the people who support pregnancy including doulas, doctors, midwives, acupuncturists (who help pregnant women), she’d love to speak with you for a new documentary play she’s developing!

The narrative of the play will be formed by the people she talks to and she’d like to get a wide snapshot of the state of pregnancy and birth in the United States and how it compares to abroad.

Her first documentary play was commissioned by the Metropolitan Playhouse and was about the legendary Jonas Mekas. Her second docu play, How We Love/F*ck, celebrated female sexuality and had its world premiere at Cherry Lane Theatre.

If you or anyone you know might be interested in speaking with Lillian, please send her an email at Lillian@LillianIsabella.com. More about Lillian, here: www.lillianisabella.com.

CFP JourMS

CRAFTING COVID: Embodying Disobedience, Calls to Action & Motherhood at the End of the World /Submissions through June 30, 2020

How have our lives changed in 2020? How are they the same? Is feminism taking a back seat as mothers turn to homeschooling, as salaries fade, hardship and isolation fray nerves, and as illness coupled with civil disobedience take shape on the streets?

Let these writings serve as a site of resistance as we practice the ongoing labor of birthing, art-making, scholarship, caregiving, salary-making, and survival in the time of COVID. Let us offer hope, support, and empowerment through knowledge, education, and shared experiences.

This special edition of the Journal of Mother Studies seeks to elucidate the experiences of families from an interdisciplinary perspective.

We have already received multiple submissions on a variety of topics from those conducting research, making home-site projects, working in hospital or alternative birth settings, as well as auto-ethnographic perspectives. Submissions are open on a rolling basis to all, through the month of June 2020.

JourMS submissions are peer-reviewed and the journal is published annually on September 1 each year online.

The Editorial Collective of the Journal of Mother Studies invites submissions of scholarly articles and essays from the Interdisciplinary Humanities as defined by the arts, history, culture, the social sciences, women’s and gender studies, literary studies, anthropology, the folkloric, psychology, the digital humanities, and media studies. We encourage dialogue between varying fields and welcome feminist critiques of race, class, ethnicity, sexuality, technology, media, public health, and nation. The Journal also features book reviews about newly penned and forthcoming works.

Please submit abstracts electronically. We will then contact you and ask you to submit a full MS Word attachments article via e-mail: JourMS@gmail.com 

  1. All work should be double-spaced, with 1-inch margins, in 12-point Times font
  2. Scholarly essays should be 5-18 pages double-spaced. Reviews should be approximately 500 words (we are flexible).
  3. JourMS is interdisciplinary, therefore, writers can follow either APA or MLA format (depending on your discipline). Double-space all text, on 8 1/2 X 11-inch paper, using Times New Roman. American spelling.
  4. All manuscripts must be submitted with a cover document:
  5. Include a page with author’s name, address, email, phone number, brief bio, affiliation, & recent publications
  6. A 250-word abstract
  7. You are welcome to submit original art, or photographic images along with your manuscript; please ensure that you have (or will) proper permissions. Additionally, we will accept alternative formats such as PowerPoint, video, audio, and visual presentations.
  8. We will send you an acknowledgment of receipt once your submission is processed. The Editorial Board reviews all submissions before sending them out for external, anonymous peer review.  We may provide reader comments, and ask you to revise and resubmit your work.
  9. Please submit a final manuscript in Word Document to JourMS@gmail.com
  10. Seeking additional editorial board members as well for this year’s edition

Please circulate widely! PDF is here for sharing: JourMS_CFP_2020

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Mothers’ Day 2020 in Virtual Reality

Lately, it seems, there are so few words to describe our current world. Mother earth is in shock even as mothers across America celebrate this holiday made virtual. So many of us cannot spend the day with our adult children due to social distancing while other families are overwhelmed with responsibilities, hunger, homeschooling, exhaustion, health, and a host of issues.

So, what do do?

Sometimes, in the quiet, we find hope for a new day. Here at MOM, our prayers, light, and love shine through even though we too have been largely silent. If you would like to register a mother you love on our Tribute Wall you can do so here at this link (by making a small donation to MOM. Happy Mothers’ Day and please do stay safe, healthy, and blessed!

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Joy Rose and Mom International Mothers’ Day Shrine

Mothers’ Day was first celebrated in 1908 when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother at St. Andrews Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia (now the International Mothers’ Day Shrine). In 2014, I had the great honor of speaking at the 100 year anniversary of the creation of the shrine and commemoration of the official holiday with my mother in attendance. Items and ephemera from that occasion are currently housed in the MOM Art Annex in St. Petersburg, Florida.

~ Martha Joy Rose

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Why Don’t IBCLCs And Dentists agree?

By Deann Shaffner

It can be very frustrating for parents to hear from a dentist, that breastfeeding at night, or night-nursing, caused your child to have cavities. The health benefits of breastfeeding are widely promoted, but information that it might cause cavities isn’t forthcoming. That’s probably because it is may not be true. It can be confusing for a parent to hear from a professional that has studied lactation to hear from a professional that has studied teeth that they simply do not agree. One argues that night nursing isn’t a valid reason to wean, and the other insists on weaning at night because prolonged night-nursing might cause cavities.

I’d heard rumors about people who experienced situations where the dentist suggested weaning at night, but when it came time for me to experience this first-hand, I was shocked. During a tooth brushing wrestling match with my youngest son who had recently turned 2, I noticed, not just 1, but 3 dark spots! There were THREE cavities on his front teeth. I instantly felt pangs of guilt. How could I have caused this? Then, I questioned if I was brushing his teeth enough? Was he getting too much sugar in his diet? Did I not have a good brand of toothpaste? Whatever it was that caused the cavities, I had to get him in to see a dentist immediately so we could understand our options and treat the problem.

When Liam’s father came back from the dentist, he told me, “Well, Liam has cavities because he breastfeeds at night, so you have to stop nursing him at night or brush his teeth when he is done. I guess breastfeeding is just as bad as drinking a soda before bed.”

I felt so angry, I yelled, “I AM SO GLAD I AM NOT A FIRST TIME MOTHER! THAT IS NOT TRUE!”

Of course, his father looked at me like I was crazy. I was just a mom saying that my dentist, who is well educated in the study of teeth, had no idea what he was talking about. Who the heck am I to question what my dentist said? I knew from all the books I had read, podcasts of IBCLCs I had listened too, that this was a topic brought up often, and it was always discussed as a myth. I knew the resources I had to navigate, to share with other mothers stating that this was not true (like here on Kellymom.com.)

I just kept saying to myself, “breastfeeding does not cause cavities!” But again, how could I KNOW this, but my dentist did not? I knew I had an appointment for myself in the upcoming months and I decided that would be the time for me to address all my questions and offer the information I had at my disposal. I liked and respected my dentist a great deal, even though I was angered by what he said. In the past, he had made our family feel comfortable, even though he was a very young dentist.

I asked my dentist a variety of questions on the day of my appointment. First, I inquired about what sources for education on breastfeeding and tooth decay he had access too. Then, I asked how he knew exactly what caused my son’s cavities? Lastly, I wanted to discuss why IBCLCs and dentists don’t agree.

Before answering my questions, I could interpret that he felt uncomfortable and that he was not expecting this kind of conversation. The direct questioning of his authority surprised him. He explained to me that he did not have any lactation education. He then shared a brief description from a study in 1984, of the relation of night nursing and cavities in the book Dental Caries: The Disease and It’s Clinical Management on pages 344-347. Then, he then also explained that when my son nurses at night, the breastmilk may sometimes pool around the front of the teeth, which may lead to the cavities.

breastfeeding baby

I knew what he was describing was baby bottle rot. This is because when breastfeeding, the nipple goes far enough to the back of the throat, which does not leave much room for breastmilk to go anywhere but down the throat. But, before I could say anything else, he quickly reminded me that he supports breastfeeding and that I just had to brush my son’s teeth throughout the night when he nurses. With my last question on why IBCLCs and Dentists don’t agree, he simply did not have an answer for me. This upset me because I felt concerned about other new parents (this was my second child) might interpret the conflicting information available to them.

The 8th edition of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding states, “There is no evidence that nighttime nursing causes cavities. Other mammals with teeth nurse day and night, and they don’t get cavities.

Dr. Brian Palmer studied children’s skulls that were thousands of years old. These skulls were preserved prior to the invention of toothpaste. He found almost no evidence of cavities. Why would this be? One reason is that “human milk does not pool around the teeth during nursing; it is pulled instantly toward the throat and swallowed,” (Pg. 241).

A lot has certainly changed over millennia of human life, including diets and how we live. But, what hasn’t changed is a baby’s wiring to breastfeed, and to receive human milk. Can breastfed children get cavities? Of course, but saying breastfeeding alone is what causes problems, is incorrect. In my own experience, my breastfed son, who was also introduced to a variety of milk including soymilk, almond milk, whole milk, and was also eating whole foods, I probably did not brush his teeth as often as I should have been. My other son had nursed for almost 2 years and at 5 he never had a cavity. My Dentist did not ask me about Liam’s diet, but as soon as breastfeeding came up, the issue of cavities was blamed on that. I do not accept that reasoning.

I’m sure in both the professions of IBCLC and of dentistry, the newest scientific information is relevant and accessible. But, how often do dentists actually get updated on lactation research? And, how often are we studying this issue? There are breastfeeding-friendly dentists sprinkled throughout the U.S., but not everyone has the means to visit with one.

If you’re experiencing a recommendation to night-wean in order to avoid cavities, it might be best to look for the most recent research. Then, as with everything else, make as informed a decision as possible. Evaluate what works best for you and your family, and make sure you’re wiping your child’s teeth twice a day, especially at night. No matter how you feed your child, you cannot 100% protect them from cavities. But, you can help prevent them as much as possible. Cavities can happen to any child, but breastfeeding alone is not the answer to why children may develop dental problems.

Congratulations to Deann for a recent press article at Cayuga NewsDecorative Image Only

Deann’s Other Blogs at MOM: 

How Income and Insurance Can Affect Breastfeeding Support For New Moms

Breastfeeding Education Might Not Be What You Think It Is

Gender Disappointment

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Breastfeeding Education Might Not Be What You Think It Is

By Deann Shaffner

As a mother and La Leche League leader, I often hear stories from other mothers about their breastfeeding experience. The experiences they relay are often from their first few weeks after giving birth. Though every mother’s story is different, I have noticed an underlying issue many seem to face. I realize that many mothers, after leaving the hospital, are unsure of where to turn when they have difficulties with nursing.

The health care staff surrounding a mother during birth are extraordinary in their job. They care deeply about the well being of mommy and baby. But what happens when mom is about to nurse the baby and the newborn needs assistance? Each position of a health care provider during the mom’s transition from pregnancy to motherhood has an important role in assessing the overall health of the mother and the infant. Professionals are trained to prepare mothers for the birth process. However, when it comes to breastfeeding education, oftentimes things are left to chance. Why does this additional education matter? How do parents access information? These concerns usually surface once a mother is searching for help and she may receive a mix of confusing information; or sometimes, even though the mother is determined to breastfeed, she is given formula and told to use it to feed the baby.

Every breastfeeding experience is individualized and can be so very different. If breastfeeding is not working, a family can be forced to decide what is best for them and their child in the midst of a feeding crisis. There are many examples involving a new mother who is having nursing difficulties receiving conflicting information from a variety of well-intended sources. If her go-to people are the health-care providers she used for pregnancy and birth, and the information she needs to keep breastfeeding is not forthcoming, then she might not question the use of sample formula that was given to her upon her hospital release.

So, who has access to breastfeeding education? How much education is required? Why does it matter? Well, let’s start with OBGYNS and Midwives; I tried looking for an overall amount of hours in the breastfeeding education required during certification. I came across some articles that mentioned only a few hours of breastfeeding education were required. The basics are taught to assist the mother with the first latch. This education varies from state to state. Of course, as a patient, with breastfeeding-related questions, you can ask during your appointments with an OBGYN or Midwife, and they may direct you to a specialist in the field of lactation. After the birth of your baby, labor and delivery staff may also assist a mother with that first latch. Labor and delivery nurses are superheroes; however, they are not required to have any breastfeeding education when hired. Labor and delivery staff are encouraged to follow along certified lactation staff to gain more knowledge in helping mothers, and some hospitals provide basic breastfeeding education classes, twice a year to their employees, and also makes sure that staff watches the same breastfeeding videos they provide patients with.

If you notice your nurse is not able to address your needs with breastfeeding concerns, do not panic, they are doing their best to help you. You may also request a visit from a lactation consultant to get more in-depth information. Pediatricians, who see most of you and your baby, tend to get a lot of parents voicing breastfeeding concerns they also receive only a few hours of breastfeeding education. Again, they want what is best for your baby’s health, but it is your interest to find a lactation consultant to address potential nursing concerns.

A Certified Lactation Consultant has the most lactation education and a wealth of knowledge when it comes to breastfeeding. Getting help with breastfeeding, from a lactation consultant matters, since they have so many hours invested to become certified. From the International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) website, here is a list of 3 different pathways a person can take to become eligible to take the exam: “IBLCE provides 3 ways that candidates, health care professionals or non-health professionals, can obtain the required clinical practice in lactation and breastfeeding care:

Pathway 1 – Completing a minimum of 1000 hours of lactation specific clinical practice in an appropriate supervised setting within the 5 years immediately prior to examination application.

OR

Pathway 2 – Completing an accredited lactation academic program that includes at least 300 hours of directly supervised lactation specific clinical practice within the 5 years immediately prior to examination application.

OR

Pathway 3 – Completing an IBLCE-verified Pathway 3 Plan of at least 500 hours of directly supervised lactation specific clinical practice with an IBCLC as described in the Pathway 3 Plan Guide and obtained within the 5 years immediately prior to examination application.

Please note that personal experience breastfeeding your own children and experience helping family members and friends cannot be used to qualify for the IBCLC examination.” (1)

Another position in assisting a mother with breastfeeding is a Certified Lactation Counselor. This position allows one to receive an abundance of lactation education, but it is not as extensive as the IBCLC exam. To become a Certified Lactation Counselor, one must attend a 5-day course, more information on the curriculum is here: https://centerforbreastfeeding.org/wp-content/uploads/HCP_Spring_2020_Flyer.pdf

Other positions that include breastfeeding education and personal experience are Breastfeeding Peer Counselors and volunteering La Leche League Leaders, some areas also have support groups or local meetups for breastfeeding moms.

All the health care providers that assist a mother during pregnancy, birth and after birth want the best for mom and baby when it comes to health if you are not sure where to ask for help after having baby, speak up! A lot happens in a hospital setting after your birth, it is understandable to forget information, once you are home with baby, You can call the hospital you delivered at, a WIC office, insurance company, or see if a local moms group can help direct you towards a professional that may be able to assist you. Some websites such as this https://www.ilca.org/why-ibclc/falc may help you find a lactation consultant in your area.

Breastfeeding can be hard, but with the support of other mothers, and receiving assistance from a person who has had extensive education with lactation, there may be a better chance for you to reach your breastfeeding goals.

WANT MORE?

See one of MOM’s USF intern’s mosts on breastfeeding last semester with additional resources here.

Also, Kimberly Seals Allers, author of The Big Letdown which cites the economic and political influences of big business and breastfeeding in America, penned an OpEd citing multiple activists in the field including Museum of Motherhood founder, Martha Joy Rose in the  Washington Post – Read it here.

Image result for The Big Letdown

(1) Source: https://iblce.org/faqs-for-initial-candidates/

See Deann’s last blog on Gender Disappointment here.

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GENDER DISAPPOINTMENT: What it is, how it feels, how to handle it (LINK)

MEET OUR NEW INTERN! Dee Shaffner (Merritt) is a first-time college student at Cayuga Community College in Fulton New York. Dee is currently workings towards her Associates’s Degree in Liberal Arts with a concentration in Psychology. She is a single mother to 3 wonderful (and extra silly) little boys, Lucas, Logan, and Liam. In addition to being a mother and a student, Dee also works at Mother Earth Baby and is a La Leche League volunteer.

We are thrilled to welcome Dee for a remote internship in blogging over the course of several weeks. She will be researching and writing on topics related to motherhood, gender, pregnancy, and breastfeeding. She hopes to gain additional insight from her research and share that knowledge. Her desire to support other mothers stems from her personal motherhood struggles as well as from questions and concerns, friends, mothers, even strangers have approached her about through the years, She will share some of her perspectives as part of her internship for MOM.

GENDER DISAPPOINTMENT: What it is, how it feels, how to handle it.

The day of the gender reveal during pregnancy can be an exciting one! When I went in for mine, I was so confident I was going to have a girl. The ultrasound technician concentrated on my belly as I lay under the thin cotton blanket on the table. Then, suddenly, pointing to the grainy image on the ultrasound screen, the tech announced in an excited voice that we were having a boy. My heart sank. This was not anything I was prepared for, no one ever mentioned to me that I could feel devastated about the gender of my baby, I felt so ashamed. All I could think of was how I was told in classes, and from other mothers, that all the effort and pain from pregnancy and labor goes away and nothing else matters when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time. But, I could not imagine holding a baby boy. I felt shattered.

Lying on the table, hearing the technician’s words, I squeezed my partner’s hand and forced out a smile. After I got dressed and left the room, I convinced myself there could be a mistake. The images were so blurry. There was still a chance my baby would come out a girl. Months later, during the labor and then as my baby was delivered, I heard excited voices announcing, “Congratulations. You have a baby boy!”

I felt a wave of disappointment and a surge of shame. These were the same feelings of shame I felt the first time I was told I was having a boy. I didn’t dare say anything out loud. I forced a smile.

This happened to me 3 times. Yes, I am the mother of 3 boys. Over the years I hoped the desire for a daughter would disappear. I love my children and this is not something I need to defend, but my heart still aches for other possibilities. Gender disappointment by definition is when an expectant parent experiences depression or anxiety when the sex of a baby does not match their preference. As I find myself continuing to struggle with my emotions, I have since learned many mothers and fathers also have gender disappointment. Though the journey is different for everyone, complex feelings, sadness, and feelings of longing are all part of this syndrome.

Admitting to gender disappointment can be hard for anyone. A person may feel hesitant to say much about it because they do not want to be judged by others and be seen as ungrateful or neglectful parents. For myself, feeling ashamed was a heavy weight on my shoulders, I love all my boys, but the love did not come at first sight. I had to learn how to love them. Since exploring this topic over the years, I have come to find out that my experiences were not unique. While expressions of gender-fluid behavior are prevalent in contemporary culture, and a mother can still teach her son to sew and a father can teach his daughter how to hunt, some parents continue to experience a lack of connection. They worry that they will never be able to fully bond with their child.

Social pressure on expecting parents can add even more depressive weight. Hearing from a stranger in the grocery store who says things such as “you already have 3 boys, so you should just give up on trying to have a daughter,” makes my blood boil. I have come to assume that these people, in an attempt to make small conversation, just do not really know what to say and they just repeat what has been said in the past, to them.

Other examples, of perhaps well-intentioned individuals wanting to insert themselves into an individual family narrative, can ultimately be unhelpful or even hurtful. A few of these are:

(You do not have any children.) “Oh, when are you going to have children?!”

(You have 1 child.) “Oh, when are you going to have number two?!”

(You have 2 same-gender children.) “Oh, well your next one will be the opposite gender!”

(You have 3 children.) “You are going to have to even those children out!”

(You have 4 or more children.) “Oh goodness! Your hands are full, you should stop having children!”

The comments can hurt. I would always get so bothered when people would tell me, I am a “boy-mom,” no, I am not just a boy-mom, I am fully capable of being a mother to girls too, I am just not one, yet. And, I may never be, but whether I am, or I am not, the deeply personal decision to have a child or not have a child is not something that is up for public scrutiny, nor are the complex feelings many parents grapple with.

Thankfully over the years, there is more support and literature for parents struggling with gender disappointment. We all love and care for our children intensely. But for those of us going through this experience, these emotions might not ever go away. As a mother of boys, I focus on finding ways to bond with my children even if I am not a big fan of dirt, trucks or farts. I also recognize that as humans develop the nuances of sex and gender do not necessarily follow a binary path. I seek moments of abiding joy and acknowledge the importance of seeing every child for who they are, apart from their gendered behavior.

For me, seeking professional help was also very beneficial, Facebook has supporting group pages, there are articles on a variety of websites that share personal experiences. The book Altered Dreams…Living With Gender Disappointment, written by Katherine Asbery, was a source that had helped me at a time when Google had “no related search.” I have come to realize that it is okay to feel gender disappointment, even if it does not feel right to feel that way. Finding others to talk to about these emotions, cultivating a sense of humor, and reaching out for additional resources are all ways to navigate the complicated terrain of motherhood. It is important to not feel alone on this journey. That is why I am sharing my very personal story here.

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Sociology Opens Our Eyes to New Ways of Seeing the World!

This summer, extreme weather rocks America and pundits debate while August arrives all too quickly. Since July 1st, accounting majors, economics majors, and students of literature have been increasing their knowledge and vocabulary about important issues that affect us all by studying sociology. These students are hard at work exploring theoretical assertions about race, class, and gender in an online summer intensive Introduction to Sociology course, specifically framed around the Sociology of Family.

Using texts that explore gestation, birth, and caregiving, authors Barbara Katz Rothman, Phyllis Chesler, Patricia Hill Collins, and Keisha Goode (to name a few), explore women’s experiences, racial disparities, and gendered labor. This week, we read the latest media stories on wombs, trans-birth, uterus transplants, and self-identified men as mothers. We have all been scrambling for new definitions and fresh ways of thinking about gestation as well as parenting.

As part of a service-learning portion of an Intro to Sociology class, students were asked to take a piece of construction paper or plain white paper and mark in bold words a minimum of 5 words that best describe “mother” and “father”. We have been complicating those basic notions ever since.

Thinking about the authors we are studying assert about biology and gender, coupled with recent medical and policy developments, motherhood is more complicated than ever! The students were invited to revisit their original posters and articulate some of the information that has influenced their perspective in recent weeks. Some of their notes are below:

Words Added:

–       Gender Neutral:

·      The readings from this week highlighted the problems associated with gendered parenting

·       Mothers struggle with work because of the perception that they are obligated to care for their home and children

·       Men do not feel obligated to do any parenting work but feel an overwhelming obligation to provide economically for their families

·      Both genders are equally capable of parenting in the form of motherhood and fatherhood

·      everyone including children would be better off if parental duties were split equally

·      All other words on the poster represent things my mother, grandparents, and stepfather did and that I wish my father had participated in

·      Not parenting is a personal choice not a gendered choice

–       Parent:

·      Added for reasons listed above

·      Parent should imply the same duties regardless of the parent’s gender

       Present:

·      Being present is an essential part of parenthood that I did not think about until I watched “Glen Henry got his Superpowers Through Fatherhood”

–       Care:

·      “Mothering is most likely done by a female due to our society’s definition of the word ‘mother.’ The action of mothering however is simply caring for another.” [Castaneda and Oware]

–       Guide

–       Educate

·      Guide and educate were both terms I did not think to put until I though in the context of parenthood rather than motherhood

·      Gendered expectations affect us all and are very pervasive

Assertion Statement:

Replace motherhood and fatherhood with parenthood

Father
• Tenderhearted
• Empathetic
• Compassionate
• Honest
• Supportive
• Sacrificing
• Wise
“A healthier masculinity can only be achieved if we acknowledge that “Tough” and “Strong” aren’t the only 2 characteristics men can be.”